catatan ga penting

There was a time in my childhood, while I am being stabbed from back by my best friend.
Just a child, I thought she was my best friend, but I never know that we didn't have same thougt. I think maybe I am innocent or too stupid, she always said something bad about me.
Maybe I was very selfish at that time, but why she never told me the truth so I know my fault, and won't do that anymore. Since I know that she often said bad things from my side, I was very disapointed by her. After that, I thougt from now on, it won't be the same again. But we still have communication as usual, we never being enemy (except when we were at junior high school for some reasons).
Maybe coz of that moment, it gave me big wound until now. Just simply things but i think since that time it's so hard for me to trust someone. I can forgive, but hard to forget if you have hurt me.
That moment not just the only betrayal or rejection that I got, but when it said about friendship, I think I already got a lot of rejection. Kind of when someone is kind with you, ooo...she/he is a good friend, but the fact are they act that just because they need something from you. (ada butuh ajee)

So no wonder if sometimes its hard for me to trust someone, eventhough maybe they have told me the truth, but I still thougt, aaa...they just act to make us happy, or for keep a good relationship.

But it doesn't mean that I never trust someone at all. I always try to trust someone, just there are a times when that ' Jangan-jangan dia...' thougt appear in my mind. I love to make a friends, evenmore when I feel convenience(nyaman) with someone I would do anything for you, by not hope something in return.

Do you ever have same experience like mines?

Sepenggal cerita liburanku

This was the last interesting activity in my summer holiday last two weeks.
August, 12th 2007
Today, was so interesting. Starting a day by doing some sports(walking and swimming). First time swimming in Japan, 2 hours 400yen, and I didn’t bring cap, so I have to buy it. It’s about 600yen. I just knew that if you want to swim in Japan, you have to protect your hair with cap, otherwise you are forbid to enter the swimming pool. The pool looked like pool for competition. And every 1 hour all the customers have to get out from the pool They told us, every 1 hour, we have to take a rest about 10 minutes, and the pool guards, will check the water, whether there are money…(loh…itu kalo gw yang jadi guardnya).
After finished, we take shower without shampoo and soap (also forbid).So we take shower without shampoo and soap, in French language its known as ‘siram-siram tok, ngkuk dek omah adus maneh!!!’
After that, Midori suddenly suggest me to go to IKEA (again for me…yeey!!!). I don’t know why, suddenly I said of course. I like IKEA. Last time I go there, I forgot how much I’ve spent money just for the transportation. It was very far away from the city (that’s why it was very big). Just for one way, I have to pay 540 yen, or about Rp.42000.
In Ikea, just go around looking for a bed sheet, and enter all the miniature room. That shop has been designed that every customer have to enter the show room first in the second floor, so after that they can continue to shop the things that they saw, in the first floor. (ini menurut pendapat gw aja yah). Midori wants a bed sheet. Found it and cheaper than in the store in Shibuya, but more expensive than in Mangga2 Jakarta.
There are also cafeteria for Ikea workers and also for the customer, but we choose a hot dog court in the first floor. You know, that hot dog court sell all you can drink coupon only 100yen or about 7800rupiah. (Free refill , just for soft drinks, coffee, tea). I bought packet, hotdog and all you can drink, cost about 180 yen or 14000 rupiah. They just give you the bread and the sausage, you make hotdog by yourself. Just adding bawang goreng and timun. Hahahaha…Bukan hotdog mewah…ditambah saus dan apa tuh saus yang kuning apa tuh lupa gw namanya.
Karena lapar, jadilah itu menjadi makanan mewah ku hari itu. Btw, that day I just bought ice cube with hearts shape. The train cost more expensive than the that ice cube. But I was very happy, so doesn’t matter for me.
Sekali-kali boleh kan…hmmm….

Just dreamin together again with him last night, makes me don`t want to wake up. Orang...orang...ada ga berasa, begitu ilang aja langsung nyari...hmmm....just trying be more tough. looking for activities that can make me not thinking of this again. Hmmm...

Still I believe I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...
...............................................................
Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world
..................................................................
Love's for a lifetime not for a moment
So how could I throw it away
Yeah I'm only human
And nights grow colder
With no-one to love me that way
Yeah I need someone who really sees me...
(all the love in the world...by the corrs)